If A = B and B=C, why must poor B (me) suffer as the middle man?
I’m astonished at how unnecessarily complicated refilling a prescription is in this country. I called the pharmacy yesterday, first thing in the morning on my way to work—don’t worry, I used speakerphone since I don’t own a bluetooth. I mean, it’s not like I normally give a fuck about that law, but for some reason I abided by it this time. Nobody was in at CVS, so I refilled by pressing in the stupid Rx number. “Your doctor will be contacted and blah blah blah. Thank you, for more options, press one.” Fuck you, bye. The plan was simple, I’d pick the medicine up on the way home from work.
A few hours later I called back and they said they’d faxed the doctor and that they’d have to wait 24 hours for it to get processed. Well, I could deal with a day’s delay. So it would’t work out as perfectly as I’d imagined, just like every other thing in life.
So today at 2 o’clock I called the pharmacy again when I had a spare minute at work.
“Did the doctor approve the refill?” I asked.
“No, we sent him a fax yesterday and he hasn’t approved it yet.” What the fuck’s going on?
I had to call the doctor’s office now. “Did you guys get a fax from the pharmacy?”
“Hold on a moment…no, we never received it.”
“Are you sure? They said they sent it over yesterday at something like 8:30 AM.”
“No, we haven’t received it. Are you sure they had the right fax number?”
“Listen, this isn’t the first time I’ve done this. They’ve called before and I got it refilled just fine. Are you sure you didn’t misplace it?”
“No, you’d have to give them the right number.”
“Can you contact the pharmacy and do it for me?” I’m at work you fucking bitch. This is your job. You’re a fucking secretary.
“You should call them again.” (these are her exact words, no lie)
“Fine.” I didn’t say bye and I hung up. I called CVS yet again:
“Hi, so the doctor’s office is saying they didn’t receive your fax.” I gave CVS the phone number again, since these people can’t handle papers with words on them. I told her to try calling and talking to the person and making sure things were all as they should be.
“Okay, we’ll call you when we’ve sent it.”
“Thank you.” I doubted they’d call me back, but they did about 15 minutes later and confirmed that they’d sent it again. I thanked them. Then CVS said that the doctor’s office needed to wait twenty-four hours until they could confirm it. Well, I suppose I could wait yet another day.
Nevertheless, I never gave the doctor’s secretary the benefit of the doubt and called her immediately after work, as I walked towards my car. I was licking an icecream cone from the commisary. No answer. I called again while I was driving. An Hispanic lady picked up.
“Hi, I’m Oren, I can’t wait 24 hours for my medication, can you please call the pharmacy and give them the go ahead?”
“The doctor wont be in till Tuesday.”
“Wait, Tuesday? They just said 24 hours. Listen, this is important, I need my medicine today, okay? Will you call the doctor and tell him that it’s urgent?”
“Okay, I’ll call him and see what he says.” I drive home from Glendale to Van Nuys on the 101. Half way through the 40 minute trip I call the doctor again:
“Did you call them?”
“Yes, we called and had the approval faxed over.” Thanks for calling me to let me know. I’ve just passed the freeway exit I needed to go to the pharmacy.
“So it’s been approved and everything and I can get my medicine?”
“Yes. You should call them again to make sure though, that they received it”
I called the pharmacy again. Another lazy female voice, “we will be wait, something something (inaudible) ten minutes.”
“So I can come in and physically pick up my medicine in ten minutes?”
“Yes,” she answered, and with some sass.
“Thank you.” I was already home by this time. I’ll go pick the medicine up soon, and probably go to Starbucks.
(.I:/)X (good fucking day)
